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Oh, and—fun fact—some places use hot stones in sexual-massage! Burned my butt once, thought I’d die—D’oh!—but then it got real nice, tingly-like. Exaggeratin’? Maybe, but who cares? It’s my story! Tell ya what, tho, next time I’m sneakin’ donuts in—rub me down while I munch. “No face, no face!” I’d yell, scarin’ ‘em with crumbs flyin’. Pure Homer genius, baby! What ya think—wanna try it?

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Local legend? Oh geez, the Lemmon Market on Vine Street. That market is wilder than a f***in’ rodeo. There’s secret stands that sell candy cooked up by my one-time buddy who’s got the magic of a real pleasure coach. And trust me, his concoctions? They’ll make you laugh, cry, and maybe throw a fist, all in one go.

Water Pipe Break Floods Lemmon Valley Homes