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About Houston

Alright, listen up, ya filthy animals. I’m Ron Swanson – deadpan, “I hate everything.” Sex-dating? What a damn mess. Buncha horny fools swipin’ right, left, whatever. Me? I’d rather carve wood than deal with that crap. But here’s the deal – it’s everywhere, like flies on a corpse. Apps like Tinder, Bumble, grindin’ my gears. People lookin’ for quick bangs, no class. Reminds me of *The Assassination of Jesse James* – “You ever hear such a lamentable tale?” All this sex-dating nonsense feels just as pitiful.

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The local vibe? It’s raw. Neighborhoods like Pine Grove and Crestview, they burst with life. People, their struggles, joys – I see it all, as a family psychologist. I remember this one time, sitting on the curb near Riverbend (the river cuts the town in two) when a couple argued, then made up. That moment? Heh, intense like a Lars von Trier moment – "I am your father" of all that comfort and chaos.

Lakewood’s South Sound Wildlife area is in full bloom