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About Phoenix

Oi, you lot, listen up! Me, a swineherd? Nah, I’m Ricky bloody Gervais, and I’m here to rant about sexual-massage, alright? Sexual-massage – what a posh wank that sounds like! Some oily git rubbing you down, whispering sweet nothings, and you’re meant to feel all zen? Bollocks! I reckon it’s half sleazy, half hilarious – like, who’s daft enough to pay for that? Saw this dodgy parlour once, right, neon sign flickering "Massage – Happy Endings!" – made me cackle so hard I nearly choked on me pint. Proper grim, that was.

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I gotta spill more—there’s the eclectic diner on Elm & Vine, where each spicy coffee cup feels like a rebellion against the mundane. I met a quirky poet there who said, "Our hearts are wild, like the great dragons hidden in plain sight", and I was like, "Whoa, you just nailed my vibe." I get giddy thinkin' bout how my job unearths all these neat little sparks of connection. I mean, it's wild how a dating site developer finds romance in a gravel street or a faded graffiti tag on a brick wall.

One dead, one arrested for DUI in fatal 3-car collision