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About Philadelphia

So, what’s the deal? It’s hands roamin’ where they shouldn’t—yet should. Little known fact: back in ancient Rome, they had these “massage slaves”—trained to tease, not just fix your back. Bet that pissed off the senators’ wives—made me smirk thinkin’ bout it. I’d burn a kingdom to watch that chaos unfold. Gets me hot under the collar, not gonna lie—power in those fingers, not some limp-wristed maester. But ugh, the creeps who think it’s a free pass to grope? Makes my blood boil—want to claw their eyes out, “I choose violence” indeed.

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I dunno, I get all emotional. I sometimes get mad when I see neglected corners, you kno? But mostly happy. The streets buzz with laughter and grown-ups' silly banter. Oh, I almost forgot: the local diner on Birch St. makes the craziest milkshakes ever.

Concerns grow over contaminated water supply in Lake Elmo