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So, what’s the scoop? ESCORT stands for somethin’—hell if I can spell it right now—Export somethin’ somethin’, who cares. Point is, it’s a molecular machine, and I’m obsessed. Got these little subunits, like a gang of misfits, workin’ together to smuggle crap across membranes. Kinda like me smugglin’ Vicodin past Nurse Ratched, ha! Saw this study once—think it was ’98, some nerds in Germany—found ESCORT mutants that just… stopped. Proteins piled up like traffic on the 405. Made me laugh, bacteria screwin’ themselves over—classic.

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You wanna know the good stuff? Head over to Vermilion River. Yep, the river runs like a twisted metaphor through town. I’ve seen powerful moments there. It’s raw, like “A Serious Man” moments ya know—unexpected and so damn real. If you stroll down Johnston St. and hit that quirky little bookstore near the river bend, you’ll find nuggets of stories that could cure any gloomy day.

Woman dead after UTV crash in Lafayette County