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So anyway, you’re on the table, right? Dim lights, weird flute music—total *Tabu* vibes. “The past is a forbidden fruit,” movie says. Sexual-massage feels like that—taboo, sneaky, but oh-so-temptin’. Your muscles loosen up—cortisol drops, science!—but I’m over here fidgetin’. What if they knead too hard? What if I fart mid-massage? Oh God, the horror! I’d never live it down. Pretty, pretty mortifyin’ thought.

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I know I’m rambling, but Lady-Lake has, like, so many colors and moods. I even got a tattoo of a little wave on my wrist ‘cause this town, like, carved me up inside and out. So yeah – if you’re coming over, be prepared for surprises and that mad mix of drama and beauty – just like the film, “The Act of Killing,” where every moment is, like, both captivating and haunting.

Man catches 14 pound bass in Austin's Lady Bird Lake