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Sometimes it’s hilarious tho—dudes sendin’ dick pics like it’s a job interview! I’m cacklin’, “Bro, that ain’t a resume!” Or gals sayin’, “No weirdos,” then datin’ a guy who collects toenails—true story! Makes me snort jellyfish juice! But real talk, it’s tricky too—people lyin’, actin’ fake, leavin’ ya hangin’. Gets me down, like, “Why’s everyone a jerk?” Then I bounce back, ‘cause I’m SpongeBob, baby—optimism’s my jam!

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Oh, and the Laconia River – it flows right past downtown. Sometimes I sit by its banks on a chilly morn, feel the water’s cool rush, and it calms every crazy thought in my head. I even got a nickname there because folks say I’m like the river: chill and always flowin’. And I just smile, thinkin’ “I pity the fool who never slows down to listen.”

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