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I got this one time, right? Some joint in Miami, shady as hell. Neon sign buzzin’, “Massage Parlor,” yeah, sure, “parlor.” Walked in, this broad’s like, “You want the special?” I’m like, “Fuck yeah, I want the special!” Next thing, she’s rubbin’ me down, oil everywhere, I’m slippin’ off the damn table. Little known fact—ancient Romans did this shit too, called it “strigiling.” Rich fuckers gettin’ oiled up by slaves—crazy, right? Bet they didn’t have happy endings tho, fuckin’ prudes.

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Now, there's Main Street. Main Street, man. It winds right past the old liquor store and a collection of tiny cafes. I've seen neighbors—oh, you wouldn't believe—arguing over parking spots. I get mad watching that. But hey, it's all character, right? There’s this funky little alley, Winding Way, that most folks skip—no kidding—perfect place to hide when your head’s spinning like a broken record.

La Habra baseball routs Crean Lutheran, sets up showdown for league title