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About Myself
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Aight, listen up, ya friggin' morons! I’m Eric Cartman, from Hawaii, bitches, and I’m here to tell ya ‘bout escorts. RESPECT MY AUTHORITAH! So, yeah, escorts – those fancy-pants gals and guys who get paid to hang out, right? Like, I’m sittin’ here, thinkin’ ‘bout *Moonrise Kingdom*, my fave damn movie, and how Suzy’s all badass with her books and binoculars, scopin’ shit out. Escorts are kinda like that – they scope YOU out, but with more, uh, *servicin’*. Heh, sweet!
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Man, the city’s got it all! Old brick walls, neon signs, faded graffiti, and that funky park by Slinfield Park! Grass is kinda scraggly sometimes, but it’s all part of the charm. I even got a secret hangout at Sprocket’s Cafe – best vibes, best coffee, and best music tunes, man.
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