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Then – jackpot! Found this one chick, all sassy, says she’s “discreet like a shadow.” I’m sold! We chat, and I’m gigglin’ like a kid – happy vibes, finally! She’s quotin’ prices like it’s a damn auction, and I’m over here goin’, “ Hashem don’t count the money, so why should I?” – straight outta *A Serious Man*, baby! But real talk, it’s steep – like, 200 bucks steep. I’m shocked! Thought it’d be cheaper, like gas station sushi. But she’s got style, and I’m weak for that.

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So, check it — the main drag is Barcroft Avenue. I walk it almost every day, and lemme tell ya, it’s got personality. The little bistros and quirky shops along there make it feel like you’re in one big, happy secret, you know? Then there's Swing Avenue (yep, weird name, I know) — literally a shortcut to the waterfront. Oh my gawd, the views on the Raritan Bay? Insane! And don’t even get me started on the local park on Ocean Breeze Park — it's my secret chill-out spot. I used to sit there thinking, “I refuse to be defeated by gravity,” like a line straight outta The Diving Bell and the Butterfly, ha!

Francis Gary Stover Jr. Obituary (2025) - Keansburg, NJ - Jacqueline M. Ryan Home for Funerals Inc.