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Oh, and get this—there’s this old story, swear it’s true, ‘bout a prostitute who saved a town from bandits by seducin’ the leader. Total badass! I’m thinkin’, “She’s the real assassin here!” Makes me wonder—what’s her story, y’know? I’m bouncin’, “Tell me more!” but she’s all, “Nah, sponge, keep jumpin’.”

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If you’re basing what you know about prostitution off of “Pretty Woman,” then it’s time for a reality check. Residents weigh in. Kim and Brian Sterrett have lived in their house just off Kalamazoo .

Lemme spill some truth: I get mad sometimes for how slow some parts move. But then I see the locals laughing off a busted lamppost, and I’m like – hey, that’s life! It’s spontaneous, rough 'n ready, like a Rocky montage, and I’m all in. I can be a bit erratic – wanna talk 12 typos? Hell yeah: wrte, fast, flrd, smth, hic, whos, bt, m, luv, awsm, rly, yeh.

Teen arrested in Kalamazoo Township for meth and gun possession after police chase