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Me mate, last week, he goes lookin’, right? Thinks he’s slick, but nah—cops nabbed ‘im quick. Pissed me off, precious! “You’re not a kid anymore,” I signs at ‘im, like from *Boyhood*. Grow up, ya twat! But then, this prossie I met once—swear she glowed, like hope in the filth. Made me happy, yeh, her laugh cut through the stink. “Life doesn’t give ya bumpers,” she says—movie line, bam, stuck in me skull.

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I gotta tell ya, runnin' a massage parlor here has its quirks. Bam! I discover parts of Kona others miss. Ours is a city of contrasts. The back alleys of Hualalai drive, for example, are low key mystical, with hidden murals and scrawled art that make you go, "WOW, this is wild." And lemme count: 1. That side street near Kamehameha Hwy? 2. That little nook behind Kona Coffee Living; 3. Then, a secret alley near the farmers' market. These bits, they sing to me, like the quaint beats of a long-forgotten drum.

Uncle Billy’s Kona Bay Hotel to Reopen as Hampton Inn Following $30 Million Renovation