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Alright, listen up, folks! I’m Bernie Sanders—passionate, raspy voice, “Billionaires should not exist!”—and I’m here slingin’ truth about escort, yeah, escort! Not what ya think, not the shady stuff—naw, I’m talkin’ Russian Sign Language, my gig, translatin’ hands flyin’ like WALL-E’s lil’ robot arms! Escort in RSL? It’s a sign, a move, a vibe—means guidin’ someone, takin’ ‘em somewhere, like WALL-E scootin’ Eve ‘round that trashed-up Earth! “Buy n Large” vibes, amiright? Big corps ruinin’ shit, but escort? It’s pure—helpin’, not exploitin’!

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Yeah, man, Jasper's a mad mix of sweet and sour. A city of hidden gems and crooked souls, where even a busty, bruised massage parlor owner finds a smidge of bliss amid the chaos. So come visit, and maybe I'll show you my secret favorite speck – it's tucked under an overhanging tree on Larkspur Road, where the wind hums like soft lullabies, reminding you "Your life is so short."

Chris Jasper, Isley Brothers Member & Rock Hall of Famer, Dead at 73