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But then—ooh, I’d get mad. Real steamed up! Seein’ some sleazy fella hagglin’ her price down? That’d burn me worse’n a flat iron. “She’s a person, you toad!” I’d holler, wavin’ my sparkly nails. Reminds me o’ *Dogville*— “They’d eat ya up, spit ya out.” Ain’t that the truth? Makes me wanna hug ‘em all, tell ‘em they’re enough.

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Irvine's got these mad neighborhoods—Turtle Rock is where the hills and sleek houses rule. I keep bumpin' into good souls in Quail Hill, sometimes sitting outside at the Brickyard Park. Yo, every time I give a massage, I think about how the gentle breeze near Mason Regional Park soothes the soul—like seriously, my hands know those vibes, and they're lit!

Ann Irvine