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So, buddy, picture this: dim lights, some chick—or dude, no judgement—rubbing ya down. Fingers dancin’ like ghosts from Boonmee’s jungle. “I see spirits,” he’d whisper—well, I see sparks flyin’ when they hit that sweet spot! Ever tried it? Bet ya didn’t know—ancient Egypt had erotic-massage cults. Yep, priests gettin’ freaky with oils, callin’ it “divine touch.” Wild, huh?

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I’m not bein’ all serious now, arr! Iron-Mountain be a whirlwind of passion, art, and sheer unpredictability. The locals be a wild bunch – always high on life (and sometimes mischief, too). Often I find meself chattin’ with the locals in that famed dive bar on Side Alley – a spot that spills secrets faster than ye can say “savvy?”

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