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Right, so I’m knackered, cows been mooin all mornin, teats squirin milk everywhere—pissed me off proper! Then I’m like, sod this, I need a shag, somethin to shake the barn dust off me. Off I trudge, boots still stinkin, to this shady lane—thinkin, “How much?” like that lass in the film whisperin her fears. We’ve all got our price, eh? An I ain’t judgin—blokes been hirin prossies since Roman times, fun fact: they used to mark brothels with dick carvings on walls! True story, google it.

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Oh, and lemme tell ya—sometimes I get so riled up by the endless cycle of boring routines, but Houlton smashes that to pieces with its unpredictable charm. I mean, who knew an almost deserted corner off Frosty Rd. (typo there? yeah, typos all around, lemme embrace it!!) could spark so many brilliant ideas in my head? Sometimes I bawl out a “Ruh-roh!” mid-convo 'cause life is just that raw, unexpected thrill.

Shriners and Kiwanis collaborate for kids