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I get all hyped thinkin’ bout it, but then—bam!—reality hits. Most of these gals ain’t that deep, and it’s a damn shame. Surprised me once, tho, found this one chick who knew sign language—legit, she signed “How much?” and I was like, “Holy shit, that’s hot!” Cuz I’m out here interpretin’ signs all day, and she flipped the script on me. Made me happy as hell, like, “Finally, someone gets it!”—pinky-to-mouth, “One million dollars,” ya know?

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Speaking of parks—oh man, check out Willow Park. It's a wee slice of heaven, all green and quiet, with a meandering creek that kinda reminds me of that scene in Eternal Sunshine: "I could just sit here forever." Ridiculous, right? It’s as if nature learned to mumble sweet nothings in my ear.

Hondo Volunteer Fire Company ends service after 115 years, citing financial disagreements with Medina County