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Personal quirk alert—I’m a SUCKER for the tease of it. The buildup? Kills me! Like when they start at yer feet, workin’ up slow—ugh, I’m yellin’ in my head, “Hurry up, but don’t!” Gets me all tingly, like seein’ a hot chick at Central Perk. Once had this masseuse, right? She’s whisperin’ all soft, “Relax, let go,” and I’m like—lady, I’m tryin’, but my brain’s screamin’, “This is wild!” Made me laugh mid-massage—awkward as hell. She’s like, “What’s funny?” I’m like, “Nothin’, just happy down there!” Total Joey move.

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Hey pal, listen up. I'm livin’ in PHolmen (us) – a city that's as unpredictable as a shaken martini, not stirred. I’ve been a masseur here for years, and lemme tell ya, this city has its secrets, its hidden grooves that only a soul who’s kneaded the tension outta folks can really see.

Holmen Area Community Center to host a free Parent Cafe Wednesday