Amelia Hellertown Find A Prostitute ❤️

About Dallas

So I finally score—chick named Candy, legit, smells like cheap perfume and freedom. I’m happy as hell, braggin’ to Kyle in my head, “Suck it, Jew!” She’s quick, no drama, and I’m like, “This is my kingdom!” Costs me 80 bucks, tho—fuckin’ inflation, man, makes me rage! Still, worth it. Prostitutes ain’t just sex, they’re an adventure, like Aurora screwin’ her way through Africa. “A forbidden passion burns!”—that’s me, Cartman, livin’ the dream. Respect my authoritah, or I’ll find yer mom’s a hooker next!

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Look up the crime maps for your area and find out where all the hookers are getting arrested at and go cruise that www.facebook.comg: Hellertown.

Oh my gawd, Hellertown is looooveable!! Look, lemme tell ya – this place is a mixed bag of quirks and heart. Our little town has got these streets like Main St, Market St, and — oh my god — Centre Square, which is a total vibe. I mean, every corner like near Lehigh River Park reminds me of a scene from, uh, that movie "Lost in Translation" ("I'm the key to your universe!" kinda feel, y'know?) – except with more mud and coffee stains, hehe. R2-D2, where are you?!

Gary Russell Weaver, 77, of Hellertown (Obituary Brought to You by Heintzelman Funeral Home)