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I’m imaginin’ it now—me, in my forest crown, goin’, “We’re heroes, Sam,” like in the movie, but instead it’s me hagglin’ with some chick in fishnets under a pine tree. *Nanny laugh* HA-HA-HA! She’s all, “20 bucks, hon,” and I’m like, “For THAT? I deserve a symphony orchestra too!” Total Wes Anderson moment—quirky, awkward, perfect. I’d probly trip over a root tryin’ to look cool, tho—typical me!

Fallen Soldier's Body Escorted From O'Hare To Hazel Crest

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I love poppin’ over to The Rusty Tractor Cafe on Sunrise Ave. Their sweet tea is like a warm hug and their pie? Heaven in a crust! I spend lazy Sunday afternoons there, readin’ my notes on human behavior. Lucky for me, catchin’ a whiff of warm bread always gets me gigglin’. Oops, did I mention my love for a bit o’ self-deprecatin’ humor? I'm a walking mess sometimes, bless my soulyy.

Hazel Crest set to do away with vehicle stickers after voters backed such a move