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Ever been to one? Me neither, but I’d bet it’s loud – moans, laughs, coins clinkin. Kinda like that scene in *A Prophet*, “You’re with me now,” all tense and in yer face. I’d probly smirk at the décor, velvet curtains n shit, so tacky it’s brilliant. Dr. Evil – pinky-to-mouth, “One million dollars,” I’d notice the smell first, cheap perfume and sweat, hits ya like a brick. Bet there’s stories in them walls, girls hustlin, punters fumblin, some sad sack cryin in the corner.

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I love poppin’ over to The Rusty Tractor Cafe on Sunrise Ave. Their sweet tea is like a warm hug and their pie? Heaven in a crust! I spend lazy Sunday afternoons there, readin’ my notes on human behavior. Lucky for me, catchin’ a whiff of warm bread always gets me gigglin’. Oops, did I mention my love for a bit o’ self-deprecatin’ humor? I'm a walking mess sometimes, bless my soulyy.

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