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But here’s the tea—findin one now? Shady websites, sketchy corners, or so I hear. I ain’t judgin, but I’m like, “Who’s got the cash for that?!” Made me mad, tho—some jerk quoted me $200, like I’m made of gold! I’m sittin there, calculatin in my head, “That’s 3 fancy dinners, ya schmuck!” Got me all riled up. Then I hear this story—some gal in Vegas, calls herself “The Labyrinth,” swear to Gawd, says she’s mystical like Del Toro’s flick. I’m dyin—happy as a clam picturin her goin, “The hands that beckon!” all sexy-like. *Nanny laugh* HAH-HAH-HAH!

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And oh man – the neighborhoods here! Fancy parts near Riverbend drive. Then there's the quirky side street – Wacky Ln. – where every third house has the unusual nickname on its door. I swear, one home had “The La-dy Lair” painted in neon blue. Reminders that not everything here is so buttoned-up.

Hayesville baseball team No. 1 in state