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About San Antonio

Oi, listen up, ya filthy dogs! Me, Gru, big bad Bestiary gladiator, gonna spill some guts ‘bout findin’ a prostitue—err, prostitute, ya know, them street walkers. Got dat Russian-ish fire in me, “Lightbulb!”—seein’ stuff ya blind bats miss. Picture dis: dark alley, neon buzzin’, smells like sweat and cheap vodka. Reminds me of fave flick, *Under the Skin*—dat creepy vibe, ya? “What are you?” I mutter, like dat alien chick, sizin’ up some dame leanin’ on a wall.

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Sometimes, I feel the pulse of Hartselle deep in my bones. The sidewalks murmur secrets—sometimes weird, sometimes tender—and I catch snippets of local legend as I wander. I swear sometimes the pavement tells ya, “Go on, be freakin’ extra!” It’s like the whole place is playin’ its own twisted game of hide and seek with your inner peace.

Annual Hartselle Christmas Parade registration now open online