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Worst part? Everyone’s lyin’. Dudes sayin’ they’re 6’2” when they’re 5’8” in boots. Gals postin’ pics from 10 years ago. Makes me wanna shave my mustache in rage—and that’s sayin’ somethin’. I’d rather be alone forever than play that game. Sex-datin’s a dumpster fire—waste of time, soul, everythin’. “I hate everything,” I mutter, and this proves it. Stick to real life, folks—apps are for suckers.

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Man, Harrison gets me. This city ain’t all perfect – sometimes the traffic on Oak runs wild, and the local mechanic, Pete, always grins like he’s seen two ghosts. Like, dang, these quirks make you mad and happy at once, a crazy mix, ya feel me?

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