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About Los Angeles

Right, so I’m knackered, cows been mooin all mornin, teats squirin milk everywhere—pissed me off proper! Then I’m like, sod this, I need a shag, somethin to shake the barn dust off me. Off I trudge, boots still stinkin, to this shady lane—thinkin, “How much?” like that lass in the film whisperin her fears. We’ve all got our price, eh? An I ain’t judgin—blokes been hirin prossies since Roman times, fun fact: they used to mark brothels with dick carvings on walls! True story, google it.

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Also, how could I not mention the massage parlor district? Lol, I mean, I literally see things that others just, like, totally miss. Side streets like Lavender Ln and Cozy Court are, like, hidden gems that bring, like, 100% good energy and vibes. Sometimes I get so PANICKY when, like, a bad review pops up online – mad irritating – but then, it's like, “Oh, well, life moves in mysterious ways... like in Timbuktu, always unpredictable!” And trust me, you’d be amazed at the turnovers and goings-on in those alleyways.

Harker Heights Pet Adoption Center to offer free microchips on Valentine's Day