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Best part? Findin’ one who’d play along. Told this one, Mara, to act like she’s sneakin’ me outta some fancy hotel. “The keys, sir!” she’d giggle, like we’re in *Budapest*, dodgin’ guards. Made it fun, y’know? Till she stole my ring. Little thief—shoulda gutted her, but I was too drunk, laughin’. “Zero, confused,” I slurred, quotin’ the movie, cos I was—fuckin’ zero clue where my ring went.

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Don’t be a numpty—check out the riverfront on Bayou Lane. This place is electric, the water reflects the neon lights like a mirror into your soul. Couples whispering secrets, a couple of rowdy laughs drifting over the water. I know a dingy little bar called The Rusty Anchor by the pier; it's the perfect spot to spill your guts and feel alive, with live blues that hit harder than your last breakup.

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