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So, erotic-massage—lowkey a freaky art, fam! Not just some backrub, nah, it’s history deep—ancient Greeks were on it, rubbin’ down athletes, callin’ it “massage with benefits,” ya feel? Then Rome flipped it, made it all sensual—orgy vibes, oil everywhere, chaotic as ME! I’m screamin’, “LET’S GET WEIRD!” while some dude’s tryna pay for gum. Little known fact: Japan’s got this “nurumassage,” slimey as hell, seaweed gel slidin’—sounds like a Coen brothers fever dream, I’m shook!

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Ya know, sometimes I get mad – yeah, really mad – when I see folks rushin' by and not takin' the time to enjoy the little wonders. Like, seriously, slow down! You've got to savor the season changes, like in that movie “Spring, Summer, Fall, Winter…and Spring” – everything flows into somethin' beautiful if ya just let it be. T'ain't no rush in life here, sugar.

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