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About Philadelphia

Here’s the juice: it’s risky as hell. Cops, creeps, STDs – no capes, no safety nets! One time, my pal Joey – total dumbass – tried hagglin’ with a girl. She pulled a knife! He ran screamin’, “I’m gonna be on TV!” like Harry in the movie. Hilarious, but damn, dude, chill! Lesson: don’t be cheap, idiots.

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Oh, and I gotta mention this – in a random turn of events, I once lost my keys at the tiny park near Glenview Public Library (ya know, right by Maple Rd). It was a crazy day. I panicked, looked everywhere, and ended up findin' ‘em in a flower pot! I was like, “That’s not a problem, it’s a plot twist!” Kinda like a scene outta Memento, you feel me?

Supermarket Shoplifter Charged With 5 Felonies: Glenview PD Blotter