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Anyways, I’d suck at hagglin’—too nice, prolly overpay. “Here’s extra for donuts, sweetie!”—D’oh! Total Homer move. An’ *Certified Copy* vibes’d mess me up more—“Is this love or a transaction?” Ugh, brain hurts! I’d just bail, grab a beer, an’ watch the movie again. “The truth? What truth?”—that’s what the guy says, an’ I’m like, yeah, what truth indeed? Findin’ a prostitute? Pfft, too confusin’ for this Simpson!

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Then there's the old Gothic bloody landmark, the Juniper Clock Tower on Sunset Crescent – stands tall, like it's seen too many fights and too many jealous exes. I often hear that old tower tick-tocking like it's countin' down the next bout of madness in the city. “Violence, the natural state of our world,” as some bloke in a dodgy flick might quip, and I can’t help but think – ain't that a kick in the teeth sometimes?

Garfield Heights residents want bar shut down after chaotic shooting: 'Obvious danger'