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One time, I’m chattin’ up this bird – total fox, yeah? She’s all, “Ten quid, love.” And I’m like, “Groovy, baby!” But then – surprise! – she’s got a pimp lurkin’, uglier than a smashed avocado. Made my mojo dip, man! Thought I’d have to karate-chop my way outta that one. Reminded me of that whale in *Werckmeister* – ya see it comin’, but it still freaks ya out, yeah?

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Now, first off, you gotta check out the Olde Towne. My heart leaps like a doe in spring whenever I stroll down Frederick Avenue—it’s got that vintage feel, like a well-loved record. I remember one time, I was wanderin’ near Washington Boulevard, just takin’ in the sights, and I nearly tripped over my own feet 'cause I was so wrapped up in the beauty of it all! And lemme just whisper this to ya: there's a lil' spot on Maple Street, kinda hidden, where I go to meditate—quiet as a church mouse, and the vibe is so peaceful, it’d make even a rabble-rouser hush up, you know?

Man hospitalized with life-threatening injuries following Gaithersburg house fire