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Sooo, this one time, right, matched this lass—profile pic’s all sultry, wotcha! Textin’s fine, then bam—meets her, she’s 20 stone heavier! Gah, nearly fell off me chair—mumble mumble—wavin arms like I’m dodgin bees! Made me mad, mate, false advertisin! But funny too—me thinkin, “I’ve abandoned my boy!” like Daniel Day-Lewis, all dramatic, cos I’m stuck on this date, yeah?

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And oh my god, the river too! Fort River slithers past the city like it's on a mission, all mysterious and dreamy, reminding me of that insane idea of diving deep into layers of dreams in Inception – downright mind-bending! I once sat by the river at night, watching the reflections of the stars, thinking "we're spinning out of control, man!" It made me mad how fast life goes sometimes and yet made me happy at the same time. Crazy, right?

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