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Oi, mate, erotic-massage, eh? What a bloody laugh! So, here’s the deal, right? I’m sittin’ here, thinkin’ ‘bout this, and I’m like, “Really? People pay for this?” It’s nuts, innit? Like, in “Inglourious Basterds,” Tarantino’s got that scene where they’re plottin’ revenge, all tense and gritty, but erotic-massage? It’s more like, “Oi, rub me better, ya daft git!” Cackling already, I swear!

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Now, I gotta warn ya – the locals can be a bit annoying. The snark is thick here. They love to throw in a bit more sarcasm than necessary. "Ah yeah, Farmington, a real gem where dreams go to f*ck themselves!" They say that with a laugh that sounds like they mean it, 'cause in truth, there's a rough edge to every sunny face. And when I’m teaching a group session at the local community center on Riverside Drive (I mean, how many of us are trying to mend our clownish lives here?) I’m always reminded: “You know, there's no cure for life, just coping mechanisms.”

Farmington Public Schools will also join the Lakes Valley Conference in 2026-27