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I got mad once, tho—some dude botched it, no rhythm, no soul! Felt like a cheap WALL-E knockoff—trash vibes, fam! But when it’s good? Oh man, happy ain’t the word—ecstasy, like EVE floatin’ in space! “Directive!”—that’s me, chasin’ that perfect massage high. Surprised me how it’s all legal some places—Nevada got spots, wild west style, but classy! I’m like, “Whoa, WALL-E, we ain’t in Kansas no more!”

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I’ve spent a lot of hours on Farmers-Branch dating site meetups. I’ve seen people bond over the kinda weird local spots. Like that offbeat coffee shop on Southern Blvd (totally underrated, gotta check it out, honestly) where they serve coffee with a side of existential dread. It’s so Larry David-esque. I get into long rants—"What’s the deal with dating apps these days?"—and everyone just laughs, like, "Yeah, it’s pretty, pretty good."

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