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About San Jose

First off, these humans are WILD. Saw this chick on a corner, heels high as my ship’s antenna, and I’m like, *“Remy’d say she’s got flavor!”* Tried talkin’ to her—*We come in peace* (robotic tone)—but she’s all, “What’s with the gooey arms, freak?” Rude! Made me mad, like, c’mon, I’m a classy alien, not some slimy chump. But then she laughed, and I’m like, okay, she’s cool. Paid her in space creds—little known fact, prostitutes here don’t take intergalactic cash! Had to zap her some Earth bucks instead. Total hassle.

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Now, if you're real keen on charm, check out Magnolia District. Its winding lanes, like Maple and 3rd, are full of cute boutiques and wonky little cafes. Cold mornings mean you might catch me near the Iris Park—sprawling green space along the Saffron River (yeah, that very river – not exactly Niagara but hey, it's ours). Iris Park’s my fave when I need peace or when my mind’s in a twist; sometimes I sit by the riverbank and think, “Isn’t life just a beautiful mess?”

No injuries reported after domestic dispute in Eldorado led to gunshots