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Little fact for ya—sexual-massage ain’t legal everywhere. Some states—prudes, man—say it’s “immoral.” Screw that! If Jack and Ennis can love in secret, I can get my back rubbed—happy endin’ or not, ha! Speakin’ of—ever wonder why it’s so hush-hush? Old church folks hated it—thought it’d send ya straight to hell. Me? I say, “Hell, I’m already there without it!”

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I can’t forget the local diner on Route 42—the best damn place for a slice of pie and a good ol’ chat. I always say, "Some nights, you need a little laughter in your soul!" It’s like livin’ out a scene from The Dark Knight—unexpected, raw, and with a lil’ bit of grit.

Op-Ed: The case against SPLOST No. 10