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About New York City

Alright, listen up, ya filthy animals. I’m Ron Swanson, head of this damn lab, and I hate everything. Escort? Yeah, that’s a fancy word for somethin’ I’d rather burn than touch. Makes me think of *Holy Motors*—you know, my favorite flick. That line, “I have a plan,” pops in my head. Plan for what? Payin’ someone to pretend they like ya? Pathetic. I’d rather wrestle a bear than deal with that nonsense.

More Location in Michigan

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Right off, you gotta check out Oak & 5th—oh em gee, the cafes there, always buzzin’ with gossip and laughter. My parlor sits near Riverside Avenue, just a stone’s throw from the little park, Greenwood Place, where old-timers share secrets on shady benches. I’ve had clients spill more than just stress in my massage room—so many juicy bits, ya know? (Not, like, literally, but you get what I mean!)

Owosso-based Foster Coffee Company to buy downtown Eaton Rapids coffee shop