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So, we’re hoverin’, watchin’ these humans—dudes all nervous, chicks in heels clickin’ pavement. One time, back in ‘89—little known fact—cops busted this joint in Amsterdam, found a diary of some girl, writin’ bout her cat more than her clients. Hilarious! Made me laugh, like, “Yo, even aliens get pets, but this?” Got me happy for a sec—then pissed. Cuz some jerk yells at her, “Move it, slut!” and I’m like, “Bro, chill, she’s just tryna eat!” Humans, man, so rude sometimes.

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So go explore, my friend. Wander down through local gems, get lost in that historical maze of streets, and let Durham whisper its secrets. Attend a local gig, smash on a night under neon lights. Every stone and corner stokes memories, and even when I start ranting ("We hates it!"), there’s beauty in the bizarre here. Enjoy it all, even the madness!

Farage warns council staff to look for other jobs after Reform takes control of Durham