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Check this - heard she once banged a guy for a freakin’ *Krusty Burger*. A BURGER! D’oh! That’s low even for Springfield trash. I’m sittin’ there, thinkin’, “Why not at least hold out for a beer, ya floozy?” Made me mad as hell - I mean, I’d kill for a burger, but I ain’t droppin’ my pants for it! Surprised me too, ‘cause I thought whores had some kinda code, y’know? Like, “Cash only, no fries.”

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Oh, and lemme talk parks and rivers – there's the little gem, Liberty Woods Park, tucked away just off Oak St, so peaceful it almost surprises ya. Sometimes I stroll there on my break, thinkin’ about how moms and daughters share secrets in its shady corners. And then there's the Potomac River spillin' through town. I got tears in my eyes once, like, damn, nature's perfection right in our backyard… ya feel it?

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