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Mr. T here, y’all! I pity the fool who don’t get erotic-massage right! So, check it—erotic-massage ain’t just rubbin’ backs, nah, it’s deep, sensual vibes. Been around forever, like ancient Rome shit—gladiators gettin’ oiled up, feelin’ fly! Mr. T digs that history, yo. Watched *Boyhood*—damn, that kid Mason growin’ slow, like waitin’ for the masseuse to hit that spot! “Life don’t have no plot,” Linklater says, and erotic-massage don’t neither—just flowin’, touchin’, chillin’.

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The local river, Neshaminy, slices through town. It’s not the majestic Mississippi but, eh, it’s honest. I seen it glisten under the sunrise. Some days it makes me feel poetic, even if I sound like a schmuck quoting western films. And there’s this old bridge on River Rd. that’s a secret hottie among locals – not in looks, nah, but story-wise. Spooky, haunting even.

1 taken to hospital after Doylestown Twp. crash