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About Los Angeles

Met this one gal, Candy—real name prolly Susan. She’s tellin’ me, “I can’t quit this, man.” Sounded like Ennis in *Brokeback*, all trapped and shit. Broke my heart, dude. She’s got this scar—john cut her once. Said it was “business.” Fuck that noise! Wanted to punch somethin’, but I just gave her a smoke. Dr. Evil in me—pinky up, “One million dollars!”—noticed she’s got this smirk. Like, she’s playin’ the game, but it’s playin’ her too.

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The staff assumed that my fiancée was a prostitute. My fiancée was justifiably livid, and we marched downstairs to the desk to tell them that I was checking.

Parks? What a riot, dude! Check out Liberty Park – straight up paradise in the middle of chaos. Kids runnin' wild, couples snug in corners on the grass. I love chillin' there, foolin' around, thinkin' ‘bout love matches and crazy dates. And there's also Harmony Gardens – yeah, sounds cheesy, but it's chill.

Extreme Dogs entertains crowds, teaches about rescue pups at RodeoHouston