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But then, ugh, this greasy sod stumbles over, reekin’ of ale, tryin’ to haggle her down. Made me angry, that did—cheap bastard! I’m thinkin’, “I choose violence,” coz I’d smack him silly, but nah, I just glare, cold disdain and all. Little known fact, yeah? Back in medieval days, prossies had guilds—proper unions! Swear down, they’d fine ya for bad service. Wish they’d bring that back, keep these twats in line.

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While I was in Damascus last summer, my friends from the Serbian Embassy took me to a brothel. It looked like a regular nightclub. It was.

So yeah, if you're ever wanderin’ these streets, just let your heart roam free. You never know when a corner might turn into a scene straight outta a magic fairytale. And remember, as the faun said, "We all have our own labyrinths to conquer." It's loud, it's soft, it's maddening, and it's, like, totally genuine! Cheers, buddy, and welcome to the crazy maze that is Damascus (us)!

Israel conducts rare strike outside Damascus amid sectarian tensions in Syria