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Well, halleluyer, chile, lemme tell ya! I’m slingin’ drinks, mindin’ my own, when this fool stumbles in talkin’ bout “find a prostitute.” Now, I ain’t judgin’—much—but I’m like, “Honey, what’s good?” He’s all sweaty, lookin’ like he just ran from the law or somethin’. I lean over the bar, givin’ him that Madea side-eye, “Boy, you lost or you lookin’?” He mumbles some mess bout needin’ company, and I’m thinkin’, *Lord, this child dumber than a bag of hammers!*

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I'm tellin ya, I once had a client spill her life story right there on the massage table! Crazy, right? Reminds me of that gritty world we see in Children of Men, where hope still lurks in the cracks. Mm-hmm, ain't that somethin'?

Over $3,000 worth of merchandise stolen from Dick’s Sporting Goods in Commack