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Oh, and the cops? Sneaky bastards. One time, I’m chattin’ this girl up, she’s all flirty, then—bam—handcuffs. “You’re under arrest, perv.” Me? A perv? Hilarious. Felt like Oskar in the movie, trapped, screamin’, “Let me in!” ‘cept it’s “Let me out!” Exaggeratin’ a bit—dramatic effect, sue me. Point is, watch your ass out there.

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I’m tellin’ ya, Colton’s got soul, and little quirks that make it ours. Whether you're cruisin’ down Oak St. or chillin’ at that hidden park bench off Vine Ave., there's always somethin’ to make ya smile, irritate ya, or simply wonder. We swears it’s unique, precious, and oh so kinda magical!

Colorado loses cornerback Colton Hood and brother Brandon to transfer portal