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Oh, and don’t get me started on them prudes who say it’s “wrong.” Screw ‘em! They’re just jealous they ain’t gettin’ laid or rubbed. I’d tell ‘em, “Drainage, drainage, Eli, you boy!”—cuz they’re drained of fun, suckin’ the life outta everything. Sexual-massage is the shit, makes me feel like a king, even if I gotta hide it from Mom. She’d freak, prolly lock me in the basement again. Whatever, I’m a goddamn professional at this livin’ large shit!

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I gotta tell ya, I also love those offbeat moments. I once found a vintage record store tucked away near 12th St – a hidden gem where old jazz and blues vibes filled the air, making me feel all nostalgic. I mean, seriously, how cool is that? All these little quirks and unique spots really make Chicago-Heights feel like its own delightful world.

Edward J. Strzelec Obituary (2025) - Chicago Heights, IL - Panozzo Bros. Funeral Home