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About Houston

Maniacal grin, “Here’s Johnny!” Alright, pal, let’s talk escort – not the shady kind, nah, I mean Ford Escort, that scrappy lil’ car! Loved that beast, swear it’s like me – loud, wild, unstoppable. Reminds me of “Wolf of Wall Street” – “I’m not fuckin’ leaving!” – that’s the Escort’s vibe, keeps rollin’ no matter what. Back in the ‘80s, saw one tearin’ down Jersey streets, rusty as hell, still haulin’ ass – made me laugh, like, “This thing’s got balls!”

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Oh, and can we talk about the parks! Yes, the breathtaking Lake Ann, where you can catch a sunset that looks like a Wes Anderson set piece. I once had a new client tell me, “This lake is like a perfectly symmetrical frame!” I mean seriously, symmetry and smooth massages, that's my jam! And then there's the Minnewashta River – it's like the city’s heartbeat. I sometimes get so caught up watching it glide by from my parlor window, I forget I'm supposed to be working.

Chanhassen Dinner Theatres names new artistic director