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Start online, obvi. Sites like Backpage are gone, RIP, but there’s sketchy forums now. X posts too—guys drool, “she’s hot,” I roll my eyes. No capes, no fakes! Some ads? Pure scams. Once saw a “$50 special”—girl showed up, 60, missing teeth. “You’re not drinking enough!” I screamed in my head, quoting Gyllenhaal’s meltdown. Lesson: check reviews, darlings. Sites like TER—pricey membership, but juicy deets. Pro tip: dudes lie, so dig deep.

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Sometimes, I get mad, SMALL stuff – like when a car jam on Hennepin Trail makes me late, or when a noisy squirrel interrupts my zen mind. But then I remember, life’s too short – like in Moonrise Kingdom when they just run off into the sunset, y’know? And dang, it’s so picturesque out there – the streets are full of colorful murals and strange statues that got me questioning art at 3 am (oops, did I say that out loud? My bad! Lol).

Roers sets sights on Chan Cinema, Country Inn