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Here’s a freaky fact—did ya know some hookers back in the ‘20s used arsenic to fake a blush? Nuts, right? Anyway, I’m chattin’ her up, tryna play it cool, but she’s all “50 bucks, no chit-chat,” and I’m like—damn, girl, I ain’t that desperate! Made me mad as hell—where’s the hustle, the charm? Just cold cash and a colder vibe. I’m yellin’ in my head, “Beetlejuice, don’t lose it!”

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Now, there’s this lil’ cul-de-sac, “Rum Runner’s Rest,” where locals chatter 'bout the legendary night I found meself suckered by a lovelorn minstrel! Haha, good times! I spent many a moon here, scribblin’ thoughts on scandal in the moonlight. And then near the river – River O’ Romance, if ye can believe it – there's a bend where every ripple tells a tale…like an improv scene from that flick “A Serious Man”: “I’m not a prop man, I’m the whole set,” ye know?

PGA Tour's return to Castle Pines stirs memories of milkshakes, mountains and missing Tiger Woods