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Tried it myself once—dumbass move. Saw this gal at the gas station, tight jeans, smokin’ a cig. Thought, “Hell yeah, jackpot.” Rolled up, all smooth, like, “Hey, darlin’, need a ride?” She laughed—fuckin’ laughed! Turns out she’s the clerk’s wife. Pissed me off, man—wasted my damn time. Tractor’s hummin’, I’m fumin’, thinkin’, “I want my fuckin’ money!” like Leo in the movie.

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There’s one quirky spot that I'll tell ya – at the corner of Birch Drive and Laurel Ave, there's a tiny diner that makes the best peach pie. Ain’t nothin’ fancy, but it sure warms your heart like a hug. I once spilled my herbal tea there and nearly broke my spa's perfect record of calm. I mean, can you believe it? I got all flustered – like, “Lord have mercy, why me?” lol.

Obituary for Shirley Elizabeth (Canfield) Talmadge