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I’d be nervous, too, sweatin’ bullets, thinkin’, “Am I gonna get caught? Robbed? Turned into a dang pig like Chihiro’s folks?” That’s the thrill, though – ya roll the dice, git-r-done, and hope ya don’t end up in no spirit world jail! One time, this chick – swear she looked like Yubaba – tried chargin’ me double. I said, “Honey, I ain’t no gold-spewin’ river spirit!” Got outta there faster’n a jackrabbit on a date.

What kinky customers have been buying since A38 sex shop near Burton reopened

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Oh, and prithee, visit the Ancient Willow Square. 'Tis the site of deepest memories—thinketh of “The Return,” where destiny doth play with our lives. Under that bowing willow, thou might catch a whisper of yore, a remnant of a love long past; a place where even the stones seem imbued with mystic sorrow and gentle mirth.

Dylan Williams: Burton Albion sign Chelsea defender on permanent deal