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So, picture this—I’m droppin from the sky, chute open, wind screamin past me. Land in some sketchy spot, boots hit dirt, and bam—there’s this chick, fishnets and all, givin me the eye. Reminds me of my fave flick, *Findin Nemo*. You know, “Just keep swimmin,” right? Except she ain’t swimmin, she’s struttin—lookin for a john. And I’m like, whoa, what’s her story? Where’s her reef? Her clownfish fam? Lost in the big ocean, maybe?

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A police officer did some online research and found the suspect's profile on an adult escort website. He spoke with the woman via phone.

Sometimes, I get pissed off – roads are a mess. Look at Cedar Ln. with potholes outta nowhere. It drives me nuts! Plus, parking’s a nightmare, every damn day. Srsly, what’s up with that? Makin’ me wanna shout, “I’m a bad mother—” well, you get it.

Marijuana and mushrooms found during traffic stop: Broadview Heights Police Blotter